How to read a recipe

For some people cooking is intimidating.  There is a pressure to get everything "right".  The fear of screwing up the family meal often leads folks to stay inside their food comfort zone: food from a box, only canned food, salad, etc., etc.
Well, in this brave new world of ours there is no reason for that.  The internet is literally rife with recipes.  Recipes for almost anything you could ever want, and many things no one wants.  Recipes can also be overwhelming for the uninitiated, but I am here to help!
A recipe is just a set of instructions.  The first time someone told you how to tie your shoe was probably a little stressful.  They wouldn't give you back your Rainbow Bright velcro sneakers and were forcing you to use a piece of string capped by an aglet.  I mean, how is that even practical?  The little strings are always coming undone and dragging through puddles.  Wet shoestrings suck!
Um...
My point is, some of us got over it.  You learned how to tie your shoe, and can walk around all big and bad without tripping over yourself.  You followed the instructions.

1.  Read the recipe

Pancake recipe by Diana Rattray. I've never used this recipe, but the pancakes look so pretty!

I'm sure that sounds condescending, but there are people that will glance at a recipe and then try to prepare it without reading through to the end.  Those people usually end up frustrated.
Read it through at least 2 or 3 times.  Sometimes the author puts in notes that you may need to heed.  Sometimes you may not have everything on the list and will need to make a substitution.  Reading will tell you how long a recipe will actually take to prepare.  Some parts may take longer than others, and some things need to be done quickly. 
Reading a recipe is similar to reading a map, you need to be prepared for the journey.


2. Define words you don't know
Do you know what "fricassee" means?  No?  Google it.  Actually, you don't have to, I linked to it.  You're welcome!
Your recipe may have terms or even foods that you're unfamiliar with.  Luckily, we have the great and mighty Google...and the sweet little Bing...and Altavista?  If the internet isn't good at anything else it's good at giving you information, and porn.  There is a lot of porn on the internet.  You should always wash your hands when you're finished using the internet.


3. Mise en place

Prepping for chicken tagine. My kitchen is huge by New York standards!

Mise en place will make your cooking life so much easier.  It literally means "putting in place."
Take out your ingredients, measure them out, and make them accessible to you as you cook.  This will also tell you if you're missing any ingredients before you start cooking.  Trying to get things on the fly will distract you and often leads to culinary mistakes.


4. Get rid of distractions

Distracting.

Speaking of distractions, get rid of them.  I'm not saying you must work in silence.  Music, or a tv show that doesn't require much attention, playing in the background are fine.  But, if you are engrossed in an episode of Hannibal (as you should be) or Game of Thrones you aren't paying attention to what is happening on your stove.  Your stove...where there is food that you don't want to burn...and fire.
*In the case where you are making a roux, all bets are off.  Your life, for the few minutes it takes to make it, is the roux.  I don't even take calls from my mother when I'm making a roux.  And, you know what, she understands.  I call her back and explain.  She's proud that she's raised me right.


5. Start!
Don't let the first step overwhelm you.  Don't over think it.  Just start and focus on the task at hand.  Focusing on preparing the food that goes into your body can be an active form of meditation.  Cooking well forces you to be in the moment.  Oooo! Look, a health benefit! 
Also, don't be afraid to mess up.  You're going to burn something.  You're going to use salt instead of sugar.  You're going drop your beautiful cake on the floor.  It will happen.  It doesn't make you a failure, it makes you human.  Accept that as a fact and move on. 

Once you're done cooking your fabulous meal, pat yourself on the back and wash your dishes.  No, seriously.  Wash your dishes.