Chocolate and Vanilla Panna Cotta

 A couple of years ago, my husband and I went out to eat for our anniversary. The meal was excellent, and it was the first time I had panna cotta. It was a vanilla panna cotta with a blueberry coulis. I thought "Panna cotta is so fancy!"  Of course we could only have it on our anniversary, at a nice restaurant! I mean, where else would someone get it? At home?
Yes.

Look at my new prep bowl! It's the one holding the strawberries. Hi! Prep bowl!

Panna cotta, Italian for "cooked cream", is so simple to make that I feel like an idiot for not trying it sooner. According to this article on The Kitchn, it is the perfect dessert. I can't say they're wrong. It's easy to make, easy to adjust to your desires, requires few ingredients, demands little of your time or attention, it feels luxurious while you're eating it, and is freakin' delicious!

Now, usually I make vanilla panna cotta, throw some fresh fruit on it, and call myself a fancy lady; but my cousin came to visit last week. I was feeling like a big shot and offered her the choice of vanilla or chocolate panna cotta (as if I had ever made chocolate).  She, unknowingly, called my bluff and asked for chocolate.  I had a mini-panic attack, but I'm sure I covered it well with my crazy-eyed stare. Then I thought, "Ha! You probably just throw some cocoa powder in the cream." I always have cocoa powder (you know, for the cocoa powder fairy) and was again feeling smug.

You do not "just throw some cocoa powder in the cream." But, the process was still simple.
That night, for dessert, I made both chocolate and vanilla panna cotta (If I messed up the chocolate, I still wanted dessert. I'm impulsive, not insane.). The vanilla was, as usual, perfect. The chocolate was...gritty. My cousin liked it, but I could not let this injustice stand. Not only would I get the chocolate recipe right, but I wanted to layer them in one serving glass.

The first thing I did was choose a new chocolate recipe. I halved this recipe from William-Sonoma. I don't have ramekins (someone says I don't need any). I have these beauties:

Why I have a ton of glassware for alcohol I don't drink is a mystery to me too.

  
They don't hold as much as a ramekin might, but that's okay. If you don't have ramekins do not let that stop you from making panna cotta. If you do, I will make fun of you. Loudly. In front of your mom.

I chose to make the chocolate first because it would be my bottom layer in the glass.

Chocolate Panna Cotta from the Willam-Sonoma website
*Remember, I halved the recipe. My measurements are in red.)

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 (3/4) cups heavy cream
• 1 1/4 (5/8) tsp. plain gelatin 
• 1/4 (1/8) cup mascarpone cheese or additional heavy cream  I used additional heavy cream.
• 2 (1) Tbs. sugar
• Pinch of salt
• 2 (1) oz. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped  I chopped up semisweet chocolate chips. A very zen experience. I highly recommend it.

1. Coat four 5-oz. ramekins or 6-oz. custard cups lightly with flavorless oil.  I don't coat my glass in oil as I serve the panna cotta from the glass.

2. Pour 1/4 (1/8) cup of the cream into a small heatproof bowl, sprinkle the gelatin over it and let stand until softened, about 10 minutes. Place the bowl in a larger bowl of hot water and stir until the gelatin has dissolved.

You want it to look like wet wrinkled sand. Wet Wrinkled Sand is also the name of my new emo/folk band so don't steal it.

3. Meanwhile, in a saucepan over medium heat, bring the remaining 1 1/4 (5/8) cups cream, the mascarpone, sugar and salt just to a boil. Remove the pan from the heat, add the chocolate and whisk until smooth.  This is where I went wrong the first time. I didn't whisk enough. Whisk until it the chocolate is completely blended in. Otherwise your panna cotta will be gritty.

4. Add the gelatin mixture to the chocolate mixture and stir until well blended. Pour through a fine strainer into a 4-cup glass measuring cup or a bowl with a pour spout. Divide the mixture evenly among the ramekins and let cool to room temperature. Don't skip the strainer. I put strawberries at the bottom of the glasses, but as the mixture is liquid it didn't quite come out looking how I would have wanted.

Eh...not quite what I was going for. Also, I don't know where I got a Stolichnaya martini glass. Probably the cocoa fairy.

5. Cover the panna cotta loosely and refrigerate until set and thoroughly chilled, at least 3 hours or up to 1 day.

6. To serve, dip the ramekins one at a time into a bowl of hot water for about 5 seconds, then run a table knife around the edges of the custard and invert onto a chilled serving plate.  This wasn't really an issue for me because of how I planned to serve it and because I would be layering some of the glasses.

Here is where common sense should have stepped in and told me to wait at least an hour before I started the next, but I was watching a Korean drama (I love them!) and not paying enough attention to the time.  I only waited about 10-15 minutes before I started on the vanilla panna cotta.  Why is this a problem? You'll see...
 
Panna Cotta - How to Make Panna Cotta  from the Whats Cooking America website
* This is the recipe I always use when making vanilla panna cotta. I also halved this recipe.  My measurements are in red.*

Ingredients

1 envelope unflavored gelatin (approx. 2 (1) teaspoons)
1/2 (1/4) cup milk
2 1/2 (1 1/4) cups heavy cream*
1/2 (1/4) cup granulated sugar
1 vanilla bean or 2 (1) teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup fresh berries, gently washed, drained, and sweetened to taste**
6 sprigs fresh mint  I omited the mint.


* Half & half, buttermilk, whole milk, and/or sour cream may be substituted for part of the cream.
** Any assortment of fresh, seasonal fruit may be served with panna cotta, but berries are especially nice. To use other ripe, soft fruits, such as cherries, peaches or apricots, just remove the stones and peels as necessary and cut them into thin slices or bite-size pieces.



1. In a small bowl, sprinkle the gelatin over 1/2 (1/4) cup milk; let stand until the gelatin is softened, about 5 minutes.


2. In a large saucepan, combine heavy cream and sugar. Add vanilla extract or vanilla bean. If using a vanilla bean, slice the bean lengthwise and scrape out seeds into cream (add whole bean to cream for additional flavor). Bring cream just to a simmer (do not let it boil), whisking occasionally until sugar has completely dissolved; remove from heat and remove vanilla bean pod. 

TAKE IT OFF THE BURNER! If you don't, you're still cooking it.

3. Add the softened gelatin mixture and whisk to completely dissolve the gelatin.

4. Strain hot cream mixture into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout; pour into ramekins or custard cups. NOTE: Don't skip the straining step as it removes any bits of un-dissolved gelatin and insures a nice smooth dessert. Also, don't let the cream mixture cool before straining. If using a vanilla bean, lightly swirl the cream to distribute the seeds evenly. 

5. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours or overnight.

6. To unmold and serve, carefully dip bottom of each ramekin in a baking pan of hot water briefly. Run a thin knife around edge of each ramekin to loosen it from the inside of the bowl. Wipe the outside of the mold dry and place on individual chilled serving plate (topside down). Invert the custard onto the plate and carefully lift off ramekin (shake gently to release).

Why should I have waited longer? Because the chocolate panna cotta hadn't had enough to time to solidify and I got a bit of a marbled top.

Eh...not quite what I was going for.

Did that change the taste?  A little.  But, it was still good! The chocolate was smooth this time! It was like a more firm, silky chocolate pudding.  The two flavors worked well together.  Let me know in the comments how yours turns out.

Italian Ice

 "Summertime, and the livin' is easy!" According to Porgy and Bess, summertime involves fish, cotton, and rich daddies.  Afterwards, everyone lives happily ever after. I'm pretty sure Porgy becomes a stockbroker and Bess is his desperate housewife, or something like that.
Wow. That got off track really fast.
What I meant to say is that summer is fast approaching!  Around our apartment, summer means Italian ice!  I try to keep one or two flavors of Italian ice in our freezer at all times throughout the season.  It's quick, refreshing, and not too heavy on the calories.
My Italian ice recipe is an adaptation of one I found on Epicurious.com.  I used plums, pluots, and raspberries; but most fruit are adaptable to the recipe.  I think stone fruit and berries make the best ices.  Be creative!
Ingredients
- approximately 2 cups of fruit (I used 1 plum, 2 pluots, and eyeballed the raspberries)
- a heaping 1/4 cup of sugar
- approximately 4 to 5 cups of crushed or small cubes of ice
* You can probably sense that this is a very forgiving recipe.  None of my numbers are set in stone.  Everything can be adapted to suit your tastes.
Tools You'll Need
- 1 glass dish (Mine is an 8x8 Pyrex casserole dish)
- A blender
- (optional) An immersion blender

'Do I... Do I dare to eat a...plum?'

1. Put the glass dish into the freezer for approximately 30 minutes.
2. Put the fruit in the blender and sprinkle the sugar on top.  Shake the sugar so that it gets into the nooks and crannies of the fruit. I use my immersion blender for this part, but I'm sure it's easier to put it directly into the regular blender.

"Pour some sugar on me!" Naughty little raspberries.

3. Purée the fruit and sugar.  Taste the purée.  Add sugar or fruit as you see fit, but remember that the ice will water down the taste slightly.

This looks like I'm preparing for a scene in Carrie.

4. Put the purée into the pitcher blender (if it isn't already there), and top with ice.  Pulse until most of the ice is incorporated into the purée.  Then run the blender until you get a smooth uniform color.  Be patient. This part takes a few minutes, but is worth the wait. You're looking for a smooth finish, no crunchy ice.

5. Pour the mixture into your chilled glass dish. Put the dish in the freezer for about 30 minutes to firm.

6. Bask in the joy of Italian ice.

Why matryoshka? Because Italian ice is now a Russian dessert? 

How to read a recipe

For some people cooking is intimidating.  There is a pressure to get everything "right".  The fear of screwing up the family meal often leads folks to stay inside their food comfort zone: food from a box, only canned food, salad, etc., etc.
Well, in this brave new world of ours there is no reason for that.  The internet is literally rife with recipes.  Recipes for almost anything you could ever want, and many things no one wants.  Recipes can also be overwhelming for the uninitiated, but I am here to help!
A recipe is just a set of instructions.  The first time someone told you how to tie your shoe was probably a little stressful.  They wouldn't give you back your Rainbow Bright velcro sneakers and were forcing you to use a piece of string capped by an aglet.  I mean, how is that even practical?  The little strings are always coming undone and dragging through puddles.  Wet shoestrings suck!
Um...
My point is, some of us got over it.  You learned how to tie your shoe, and can walk around all big and bad without tripping over yourself.  You followed the instructions.

1.  Read the recipe

Pancake recipe by Diana Rattray. I've never used this recipe, but the pancakes look so pretty!

I'm sure that sounds condescending, but there are people that will glance at a recipe and then try to prepare it without reading through to the end.  Those people usually end up frustrated.
Read it through at least 2 or 3 times.  Sometimes the author puts in notes that you may need to heed.  Sometimes you may not have everything on the list and will need to make a substitution.  Reading will tell you how long a recipe will actually take to prepare.  Some parts may take longer than others, and some things need to be done quickly. 
Reading a recipe is similar to reading a map, you need to be prepared for the journey.


2. Define words you don't know
Do you know what "fricassee" means?  No?  Google it.  Actually, you don't have to, I linked to it.  You're welcome!
Your recipe may have terms or even foods that you're unfamiliar with.  Luckily, we have the great and mighty Google...and the sweet little Bing...and Altavista?  If the internet isn't good at anything else it's good at giving you information, and porn.  There is a lot of porn on the internet.  You should always wash your hands when you're finished using the internet.


3. Mise en place

Prepping for chicken tagine. My kitchen is huge by New York standards!

Mise en place will make your cooking life so much easier.  It literally means "putting in place."
Take out your ingredients, measure them out, and make them accessible to you as you cook.  This will also tell you if you're missing any ingredients before you start cooking.  Trying to get things on the fly will distract you and often leads to culinary mistakes.


4. Get rid of distractions

Distracting.

Speaking of distractions, get rid of them.  I'm not saying you must work in silence.  Music, or a tv show that doesn't require much attention, playing in the background are fine.  But, if you are engrossed in an episode of Hannibal (as you should be) or Game of Thrones you aren't paying attention to what is happening on your stove.  Your stove...where there is food that you don't want to burn...and fire.
*In the case where you are making a roux, all bets are off.  Your life, for the few minutes it takes to make it, is the roux.  I don't even take calls from my mother when I'm making a roux.  And, you know what, she understands.  I call her back and explain.  She's proud that she's raised me right.


5. Start!
Don't let the first step overwhelm you.  Don't over think it.  Just start and focus on the task at hand.  Focusing on preparing the food that goes into your body can be an active form of meditation.  Cooking well forces you to be in the moment.  Oooo! Look, a health benefit! 
Also, don't be afraid to mess up.  You're going to burn something.  You're going to use salt instead of sugar.  You're going drop your beautiful cake on the floor.  It will happen.  It doesn't make you a failure, it makes you human.  Accept that as a fact and move on. 

Once you're done cooking your fabulous meal, pat yourself on the back and wash your dishes.  No, seriously.  Wash your dishes.

Experiment: Grown-up Rice Krispie Treats

This is how grown ups eat. 

There are tons of Rice Krispie treat recipes online. My quick search brought up Pinterest pages, 50 best lists, and even Krispie truffles (uh, yum!). But I didn't see exactly what I was looking for in a recipe.  So, I'm creating it.
I believe in experimenting with your food. It's the best way to get the flavor and texture you desire. Yes, you can always ask a restaurant for substitutions or to make something more or less spicy, but restaurants aren't really in the business of individualizing your dinner choices. If Burger King really wanted you to have it your way they would just send you home with a bag of groceries.
I'm not much of a drinker. I prefer to eat my alcohol. I find that a lot of "spirits" give foods a unique taste that I can't necessarily create with non-alcoholic ingredients (tequila marinade for steak!). You don't usually need much, and most of the alcohol is cooked off during the process leaving you with a wonderfully complex flavor.
That being said, I usually put a teaspoon or so of Bailey's Irish Cream in my Rice Krispie treats.  It gives them a delicious creamy taste that butter or vanilla haven't been able to provide. So, that part is not really the experiment.  I wanted to see what adding cream cheese would do to my treats.
I started off with the basic Rice Krispie treat recipe, but halved it (if it didn't work I still wanted my Rice Krispie treats). There was some eyeballing, but this is what I came up with:

Ingredients
1 heaping tablespoon of cream cheese
1/2 tablespoon of butter
10 jumbo marshmallows
1 1/2 teaspoons of Bailey's Irish Cream (Yes, I keep Bailey's in the house. Yes, I like bingo. Yes, I think this muumuu compliments my figure. What are you trying to say?)
3 cups of Rice Krispies (You can use the store brand. Kellogg's ain't paying nobody's bills.)

You'll also need: a greased pan (I used an 8x8 square) and a greased spatula for smoothing.

1. I melted the butter and cream cheese over low heat. Low heat! This recipe is so quick that you don't need to speed things up by overheating your butter. I kept taking mine off the heat so it wouldn't brown, but I hear brown butter treats are tasty too.

Low heat!

The butter melted pretty quickly. The cream cheese didn't so much melt as form a white blobby shape in my pot, but I figured that was good enough.

Ugh! Cream cheese is such a diva.

2. I then added the marshmallows. The mixture was smooth. The blobby cream cheese mixed right in. Oh, it smelled so good!

This is probably what marshmallow porn looks like.

3. I took the pot off the heat and added the Bailey's. The Bailey's always prompts the marshmallow mixture to bubble furiously so don't freak out. Mix it in to the marshmallow. It will give the mixture a lovely light brown coloring, as if it has been summering on the Cape with it's distant, but still loving family.

"Just below the marshmallow's plain facade raged a bubbling Bailey's volcano."

4. I mixed in the Rice Krispies.  Make sure you mix it well. If you don't you'll end up with some dry Rice Krispies and a blob of marshmallow mixture.

5. I turned the warm Rice Krispie/marshmallow mixture into my greased pan and smoothed it over with my greased spatula.

6. You're then supposed to wait until they cool before cutting into them...Hahahahahahaha!!!

Results?
I think I need more cream cheese. When I first bit into one I didn't think it was anything too special, but there is a really creamy, rich after note that I kind of love.  The cream cheese adds to the overall experience of the treat, but I feel as if the taste of cream cheese (that little bit of tart) gets lost. Also, these don't firm up as much as a regular treat.  At least I don't think they do. I kind of eat them all before they get to final cooling point.
You'll notice that mine are also on the thinner side.  If you put your treats in a smaller pan there will less spreading.
The raspberries at the top were supposed to be just for decoration, but they actually tasted really good with the treats.  I may have to incorporate them into my next batch. I'll definitely eat them because they're delicious, but I have not found my perfect treat yet.

Snap and Crackle were cool to work with, but Pop was clearly off the wagon during this photo shoot.

  Leave me questions and suggestions in the comments.  I can always use fresh ideas!

Great Googa Mooga 2013

This will be quick because it's late and I'm lazy.  My plan is really only to do one blog post on Tuesdays and Fridays, but I would be remiss if I didn't say something about the Great Googa Mooga.

Look, I know the Great Googa Mooga gets a lot of grief. And, I know that canceling the last day did not go over well. Vendors lost a lot of money/food, people were not informed on time, no one got to see De La Soul and Kool and the Gang. But, I still love the event. I went last year and this past Saturday, and it's not a perfect event, but it is an exciting one for me.

I love New York, but there are a lot of culinary experiences that I can't afford. Googa Mooga allows me to experience foods from restaurants that I may never see the inside of. Foods that I never knew existed are available to me.

I feel as if there are a lot of naysayers when it comes to Googa Mooga. Before the event started last year there were critics looking for everything that could be wrong. People who hadn't even gone were complaining about what they heard were problems.

That orange backdrop was mesmerizing...

 It's now a two year old event. I think the creators are trying to do something new and innovative. New and innovative is often nitpicked. There are those who want to be the one to say they knew this new thing wouldn't work. To me that's just sad. I'm not saying follow blindly, but everything about the Googa Mooga isn't a set up for failure:

1.  It's a free event. Yes, you have to reserve tickets, but without some limits on the number of people organizers and vendors wouldn't know how many to plan for. Also, the park would be overrun.

2. It's good advertisement for local restaurants. One complaint I saw was that all the vendors are local. So? Why is that bad? Just because a restaurant is there doesn't mean that all of New York patronizes it. I love Melt Bakery and would live off of their ice cream sandwiches if my husband would let me, but not everyone knows who they are (which is pure silliness). Granted, one of my favorite vendors comes from my hometown of New Orleans, but my body craves Crawfish Monica and I refuse to apologize for that.

3. There's more than just food vendors. This year, my husband and I sat through a joint talk with food historian Sarah Lohman and Jonathan Soma on the Futurist movement and food. And, it was great!  It was funny and we both learned a lot. We even got a demonstration of a Futurist "meal."

Last year, I saw a food "battle" using only seasonal foods from a local csa.

That year I also saw Hall & Oates live on stage.  My friends are sick of how often I tell them about my love of both Daryl Hall and John Oates' facial hair, and "Sara Smile." Because "Sara Smile" is a song to live your life to.

Eeeeee!!! Hall & Oates! Hall & Oates! Hall & Oates! And facial hair!

Before the cancellation, DeLaSoul was supposed to play right before Kool and the Gang. I think the universe might have exploded with awesome if that had actually happened, so we might want to chalk the cancellation up to divine intervention.

Matt and Kim performed on Saturday.  Clearly, it was children's concert.

4. It's a community event. There is something about attending an event where everyone is there for a similar purpose. I'm not a festival going woman. Around these parts, most street fairs are the same funnel cake and pan flute affairs. Just pick up and drop on another street the next week. Due to the way the ticket situation works, most Googa Mooga attendees are New Yorkers. It's also walking distance from my apartment. This is a true local event. I think that's something to celebrate.

 
There is a chance the Great Googa Mooga will not be back next year. That saddens me. It will never be without its problems, but I think with more work this fledgling festival can become a great festival. 

For more pictures and posts from this year's Googa Mooga visit my Twitter feed @kitchenabsurd.  While you're there you should probably follow me.  You know, for good measure.

Italian Meringue Buttercream Workshop with Vinny Buzzetta!

I belong to a cake decorating meetup group. Not because I'm some decorating wunderkind (I never graduated past the Easy Bake Oven school of decorating), but because I want to learn to make beautiful cake-like artistic expressions. Most of the members are pretty proficient so I never really go to the meetups because I'm more of a rank amateur. I understand the science. I can make everything taste good, but I have horrible decorating habits. And, I develop the shakes whenever it's time for me to put frosting to cake.

Hm...maybe "belong to a cake decorating meetup group" is too strong an expression.

Did I mention that Vinny is cute? I learn best when the teacher is cute. Looking at you Mr. Magnuson...

BUT! The Italian Meringue Buttercream Workshop was perfect for me. We would be learning about the nuances of buttercream and some basic cake decorating techniques! And, I'm happy to say, those things happened, and they happened well.

Apparently, Vinny Buzzetta has a tv show on the WE network. Something I wasn't totally aware of because I'm one of those crazy people that only watches tv via the internet. But,Vinny's a good teacher. To misquote (and take out of context) that great philosopher Keith Sweat,'He may be young, but he's ready.' The room was a mix of amateurs and hardcore hobbyists, which can be a tough crowd to teach. You don't want to leave the newbies behind, but you don't want to bore the more experienced folks.

More experienced folk.

So, on a Thursday night a bunch of people got together in the kitchen of Aunt Butchie's Bakery and learned about Italian buttercream. 

Yes, that is a blow torch. All baking should involve a blow torch.

He started off by giving us the difference between American buttercream, French buttercream, and Italian buttercream. There was definitely an Italian meringue buttercream bias in the room, but I went with it because when in Rome's bakery...

One thing that can be very difficult for the amateur cake decorator is a getting a flat cake, but Vinny recommended using  rings to shape your cake. 

"One ring to rule them all."

He also made a good case for being diligent with your crumb coat. I'm lazy about a crumb coat. If I do one (bad habit!), I do one half-assed coating and hope for the best. Vinny did four coats, and that cake looked nearly perfect in its smoothness. By taking his time he's prepped the cake for whatever design he wants to throw at it. His cake is a smooth canvas. Mine is usually a piece of burlap that I found in the remnants bin.

There was also talk of fondant. Ugh. Fondant.

Image courtesy of Rosen Georgiev/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Vinny took us through the steps of making Italian meringue buttercream. One of the keys to great buttercream is something I preach, but would do well to practice more: Patience. Good buttercream should not be rushed.


He also showed us how easily the buttercream takes on flavors. The overall taste isn't as sweet as your usual powdered sugar and butter concoction (American buttercream), but that allows the taste of your cake to shine through. You can mix in vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, jams, fruit purees, and Oreos. Oh, Oreos. Oreo buttercream has to be a reward for doing good deeds in life. 

I tried to take a clear picture, but my eating kept getting in the way.

Towards the end of the workshop he demonstrated how to make shell and heart designs with the buttercream. Let's just say that some people were better at it than others. And, by others I mean me.

She looks so happy here...

Vinny ended the evening by giving us cake. Banana spice cake with Nutella flavored buttercream. Vinny is a kind man and will be rewarded with Oreo buttercream in the afterlife.

If you're in the New York area and interested in taking classes with Vinny at Aunt Butchie's you can email either Vinny (vbuzzetta@gmail.com) or Aunt Butchie's (classes@auntbutchies.com).   

 Vinny has a fondant class coming up next week on May 29th. 

Even when it's bad, it's good... pizza.

There are times I get on this kick where I tell myself that I'm going to make everything from scratch.  From my condiments, to my drinks, to my spices.  And, it can be done.  Just not by me.  You may not know this about me, but I'm not a wealthy woman of leisure.  There is nothing wrong with a little semi-homemade recipe now and then. 
When I say semi-homemade I don't mean the Sandra Lee version where she takes processed food and mixes it with other processed food and it costs more than it would have if she had made from scratch and also takes more time. (Please don't diagram that sentence.) I'm talking about semi-homemade that doesn't break your bank, doesn't suck up your time, and doesn't hurt your health.
You know what's good to eat? Pizza.  You know what's easy to make? Pizza. You know what takes less than 30 minutes to put on the table? Scrambled eggs.  Seriously, those are like 5-7 minutes tops.  But, also pizza.
One of the great things about pizza is that you can put just about anything on it.  I have put shrimp, shredded brussel sprouts, basil, ground beef, whatever feels right to me at the time and the pizza just goes with the flow. Also, you don't need anything fancy.  Did your apartment come with an oven? You can make pizza! Do you have a baking sheet?  You can make pizza! Do you have hands? You can help me clean my apartment!
Now, you can make the dough from scratch.  I have done it, and it doesn't take much time.  But, you can also get tasty pre-made dough from Trader Joe's for $1.19.  There are other places that make dough, but Trader Joe's is my favorite.
The recipe today is not written in stone.  This is just how I usually throw a pizza together. 

Ingredients:
1 bag of Trader Joe's brand pizza dough (Not the wheat dough.  If you love your family stay away from the wheat dough.)
1 small can of plum tomatoes diced, chopped, or whole (You can use any type of tomato, I'm just a fan of the plum.)
1/2 cup of fresh basil
1 clove of garlic
Mozzarella cheese
Red pepper flake
Salt

Four (4) servings

Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. 

1. Take the pizza dough out of the refrigerator.  It needs to warm up for about 20 minutes.  Cold pizza dough is not very pliable.

2. Drain as much of the tomato juice off as possible (Save this juice for another recipe. Possibly, to use with tomato paste instead of water.) 

Don't stare! The tomatoes are naked!

2. Put tomatoes, basil, garlic, and red pepper flake in your food processor. Or blend with your hand blender.  If you don't have either of these, you can also chop everything up by hand. Drain off the excess water and add more red pepper flake and salt to taste.

3. Cut up your mozzarella. Don't eat too much of it while it is sitting helplessly on the plate.  You still have to get it on the pizza.

"Sweet mystery of life! At last, I've found you!"

 4. Turn out your dough onto a floured surface.  Knead it a couple of times then start stretching it.

 5. Oil your baking sheet and shape your dough into a generalized pizza shape on it.

Pizza-shaped.

6. Spoon your sauce onto your dough, leaving the edges sauce-free.  

Nail polish: Sugar Daddy by Essie.

 7. Arrange your mozzarella on top of the sauce (Stop eating the mozzarella!), and put oil on the sauce free-edges.  I put butter on mine.

I get so little use out of my pastry brush that I break it out whenever I can.

In a weird artistic moment, I drizzled butter over the whole pizza.  I can't explain it.

 8. Throw that bad boy in the oven for about 10 minutes!  That's an expression.  Please don't throw things.  Be a grown-up.

The bad boy.

9. Ten minutes is a guesstimate (spell-check says that's a real word).  Use your nose.  If you smell something burning, check on it.

10. Voila! You are now a pizza chef!